Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Sadness, Hope, and Love

Today I received news that a San Francisco friend lost her baby daughter, Tikva Ahava ("Hope Love" in Hebrew). Since I had been out of touch with my friend of late, I had no idea what had been going on, and sat with the heavy weight of it all and cried. Reading through her blog, I am beyond awed by her writings and her experience. The positivity that I struggle to cultivate in my day-to-day life was incredible to see manifested in this context. Her beautiful girl was lucky to have such a fine mommy.

This is one of those times when, for me, it's more challenging to be an atheist. I don't necessarily have a prescribed "go to" place, a framework to easily allow me to reconcile what's going down. It's just my own cobbled-together sense of spirituality and philosophy. I don't pray per se, but I send love, love, love, and good energy to my friend and her family.

And, of course, I gave my own extra kisses before my beautifuls were snuggled in their beds. That's just a no-brainer.

I went on a walk with Violet tonight and I was talking with her about why I felt sad and why I always say that I'm such a lucky mommy. Violet said, "so you're feeling happy and sad at the same time." And that pretty much summed it up. These tears and laughter and joy and pain that we are lucky enough to experience, sometimes in one jumbled-up mess.

My thoughts are with you, Gal, Dave, and Dahlia.

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